Secret Garden

陌生的熟人

2008-01-19T17:04:00.000+08:00

又踏上了这片土地，没有任何感觉的奇怪的心情。
不能再像以前仗着自己还在上学就心安理得地来来往往。
而如今，我不知道自己是作为一种什么身份来到这里的。
毫不兴奋。毫不激动。
碰到搭话的陌生人，本能的躲开。凝视远方的同时猜想他到底有怎样的动机。
多么的多此一举。多么肮脏怯懦的心灵。

哇哈哈哈!!!!

2008-01-18T19:10:00.000+08:00

像我这样的电脑白痴居然整出了一个新的template,太有成就感拉!
挖哈哈~~~

多么可爱滴小鸟!
多么可爱滴花园!
多么可爱滴布丁!

只是,
这新blog上咋灭有发表文章的链接涅?

Arrhhh...

2008-01-18T17:42:00.000+08:00

碰到很久没见的朋友,居然不知道说什么好.
果然是喜欢的人面前什么也说不出来啊.
只是,是不是喜欢都不知道...啊...呼呼冒傻气啊...
决定要离开的时候又频繁出现..啊...
姑且把那个我完全不了解的世人称之为爱情的东西叫做它
难道它非要一人欠下,另一人来还?

moved back

2008-01-16T15:59:00.000+08:00

费了好大的劲儿,总算想起了密码,又费了好大的劲儿,开了google帐号,总算进来了.

有多久了,2年?3年?跟别人合开博客以至于把自己的都忘记了.

以后不许这样了.

Too busy to do something?

2006-01-26T23:24:00.000+08:00

One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.

Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.

It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.

On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. "Really?" she heard whispered. "I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!" and, "I didn't know others liked me so much." were most of the comments.

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.

Several years later, one of the students was killed in Viet Nam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature.

The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.

As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. "Were you Mark's math teacher?" he asked. She nodded: "yes." Then he said: "Mark talked about you a lot."

After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.

"We want to show you something," his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it."

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him.

"Thank you so much for doing that," Mark's mother said. "As you can see, Mark treasured it."

All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home."

Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album."

"I have mine too," Marilyn said "It's in my diary."

Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. "I carry this with me at all times," Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: "I think we all saved our lists."

That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be.

So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late.

日本語

2006-01-24T22:55:00.000+08:00

はじめまして。
わたしわ　Yuです。
ちゅうごくから　かました。
せんこうわ　けいえいがくです。
どうぞ、よろしく。

^-^This is the longest I can say during my first Japanese tutorial~ I got a round of applause for saying that. ^-^　

贱人时代

2006-01-24T22:44:00.000+08:00

近日，看到一朋友QQ上的签名档换了。
那个眼光之独到，见解之精辟啊。

“流行贱的时代来临了，这个时代什么最贵？——贱人呐！”

Work work work

2006-01-22T09:55:00.000+08:00

Day X - Day Y

After doing one whole week work, consulting business professionals, meeting Mr Wong who is in charge of VC funding, meeting Dutch embassadors, we, finally decided to change our business idea.

And, this is half through our project time. God blesses us.

Tour around Singapore

2006-01-17T19:25:00.000+08:00

Day 2

Wandering around at Orchard since 3pm...--! Then Night Safari from 8pm to 11pm.
Boring, childish and exhausted.

Day 3

After lessons started from 9pm ended at 2pm, we have our first formal meeting at 3pm at SR4 and ended at around 630pm.
Inefficient, subtract and long-winded.

Day 4

Me, Sheena and Sieds went to Sim Lim Square to do our first market research. Tolerable efficiency, but still, one whole afternoon was gone.

Tour around Singapore

2006-01-15T12:56:00.000+08:00

Day 1

Nonya buffet at Singapore Lion City Hotel.
Cycling at East Coast in the afternoon under beautiful sunshine and clear blue sky.
Dinner at Cocoon by Riverside.
Unfortunately, I still dare not to go clubbing with them at night, maybe, I will try it out some other day.

As a whole, wonderful day! ^-^

回来咯

2006-01-09T20:44:00.000+08:00

挖咔咔，回来咯~~~
虽然说不上高兴，甚至还有一点点畏惧，不过至少不是陌生的。回去的时间不长，依恋的感觉却是很浓，就像一个comfort zone，进去了就不想出来。
是不是越来越恋家了？越来越没有锐气和斗志了？仿佛已经老了一样。
雨天，让人萧瑟的心情。

催命啊。。。

2005-11-14T23:21:00.000+08:00

我的爹啊。。。IEP简直要把我郁闷死了！

一直都没做什么事情，觉得特别guilty，可是，也不是我不愿意做啊，根本就是插不上嘴。一开始就觉得business consultancy的主意不好，跟他们讲了，却没有人听，根本就没有人把我放在眼里。现在好了，咨询了人家专业人士，不可行了吧？！呼呼~~ 又要重头再来。疯掉。本来想，等那帮Dutch guys come over，自己再尽力补上，千万不能让自己像个吃闲饭的。可是，555，他们12月又要meeting了！我又去不了。T.T 上次就是因为没去，后来说话就一点分量也没有，这次又去不了。。汗，估计他们就会当我不存在了~~ @.@

话说回来，怎么那么缺德的啊！我不就absent了一次吗？消息也不转达，我提的问题也没人回答，这么自私的！呼呼！Political science 了不起啊？一副目中无人的样子，呼呼！Financial statement 会不会做啊？Cash flow 会不会做啊？Stock valuation会不会做啊？不会了吧？哼~~~　不和你一般见识！~.~

也不算分的个东西，搞不懂自己怎么被弄到压力这么大！想起Romily说的，Perhaps, you are imprisoned by your own perfectionism.

Damn it!

夜疯症

2005-11-13T22:23:00.000+08:00

最近发现自己这个病是越来越厉害了。好像天一黑，心里也跟着黑了，心情特别低落。就像是黑色的油漆一样，还粘粘的，怎么搅都快乐不起来。

刚才又照例给猪打电话去了。说得好好的，就因为他一句玩笑话就烦了。明明无关紧要，就是发起了脾气！我发脾气有个特点，那就是不说话，管你怎么说，我就是不说。拿着电话筒，手都酸了，脚都快被蚊子咬麻了，他还以为电话断了，我就是不说！心里还生闷气：丫丫的，电话费这么贵，你就不能赶紧多说点好听的？！呼呼！最后以我心疼电话费开口说话收场。-.-!

突然想起以前在华初的时候，班上有一对儿特别好。不是说他们两个怎么怎么粘，是我们班上其他的同学都觉得他们特别天生一对。男生女生都是特别聪明，特别温和，对人特别好的那种。两个人走在一起，简直好得不知道说什么好了！可是没多久，那个女生就整天跟自己的朋友在一起了，而不是跟他在一起。我还记得当时很不解，很八卦的问她为什么。她说：“我也不知道，跟他在一起我就总是发脾气，可能是越close就越这样吧。”听完了，我就更不明白了。@.@

现在想想，仿佛可以理解她当时的感受了。跟越亲密的人在一起，就越容易随意使性子。因为你知道不管你怎么发脾气，不管你怎么无理取闹，不管你怎么没有形象，他都不会介意。他在乎的是你怎样才能开心起来，他担心，他着急，他恨不得打自己一巴掌来惩罚给你带来的不快，即使他没有做错任何事情。

想想，自己真有一种十恶不赦的感觉。-.-! 从开学到现在，大大小小我至少对猪发了十多次脾气。发得最大的那次是他要来新加坡学习工作。坦白地说，是我自私。我觉得他来新的话会给我很大的压力，所以我一直不想他过来。而他，因为想要过来，一直在家学英语。他基础不好，学得又很慢。我又偏偏是急性子，动不动就来气，那次居然脱口而出：“你说你要英语没英语，要钱没钱，你来新加坡做什么？！”他好长时间没说话，然后就哭了，虽然他极力不想让我听到。T.T 话一说出去我就后悔了，可是谁知道我当时那么没心没肺没大脑的，吧唧就说了，唉。。。可怜的猪，每次都当我的出气筒。说出来连婧子都不信，我这么温和的人，会说出这种伤人的话？是的。如果说每个人都有天使和魔鬼的一面的话，猪是唯一唯一见过完整的我的人，这也是为什么我跟老孙说我跟猪相处的时候是最最真实的我。

最近在看《The portrait of a lady》，很多繁冗的语法让我看不太懂。可是其中有一段话是Isabel的朋友Henrietta对她说的，我却很喜欢，像是对我说的一般。

"Well, you think you can lead a romantic life, that you can live by pleasing yourself and pleasing others. You'll find you're mistaken. Whatever life you lead you must put your soul in it - to make any sort of success of it; and from the moment you do that it ceases to be romance ... You think we can escape disagreeable duties by taking romantic views - that's your great illusion, my dear. But we can't. You must be prepared on many occasions in life to please no one at all - not even yourself!"

谁不是呢？每个人在自己的生活环境中都会或多或少为了取悦别人而做一些事情。或许，不取悦别人也没什么大不了，真实，真我，才有真快乐！^.^

ps: 好像严重跑题。-.-!

心情不好

2005-11-11T00:06:00.000+08:00

不知道哪根神经有问题，越是考试越是玩，最近从优优那弄来一个在线看电影的网址，实在是不敢恭维《王子变青蛙》，就看起了《早熟》。
在线看的速度实在是慢，上集就看了我近两个小时！！一直卡一直卡，平均看十秒等三十秒。房祖明居然也不是太丑，哈。。
不过看到一半多一点，就不愿意看了。因为突然觉得很害怕，害怕我和猪没有未来。
晚上打电话给猪，声音扁扁的，一副低糜的样子，自然不敢说，我怕我们没有未来。他已经承受了那么大的压力了。打包，回来，吃饭。居然妈妈在qq上。可惜我才晚了9分钟，妈妈就下了。打电话回去，想要说说话，可是声音还是免不了平淡无味。想必妈妈是误解了，以为我不耐烦，便说，那你学习吧，我不打扰你了，说罢就把电话挂了。无语。还不如不打电话回去。
晚上碰到猪的朋友虫子，便聊了起来，实在忍不住，苦水全吐给他了。一顿教训劈头盖脸的泼来。
“我早就跟你说了。。。。。。”
“。。。。。。”
:( 我想我还是一个人去隐居的好。

疯了疯了！

2005-11-03T00:09:00.000+08:00

大花猪！！
真他妈想嫁拉！
555，大花猪明天就去北京了，再也不能整天陪着我聊天，晚上督促我睡觉，烦躁的时候当我的出气筒，难过伤心的时候给我发笑话。。。呜呜呜！！！T.T

减肥乎？减不了也。

2005-10-18T21:45:00.000+08:00

没有坚定的减肥决心，千万不能减，因为只会导致吃得更多。

不爽

2005-10-17T20:24:00.000+08:00

受不了IEP了！！！
上次那帮Dutch guys给的关于branding of fashion designer product的主意已经够难做了，根本不可能在短时间内见效，他们礼拜六居然开会弄出一个更离谱的主意，说什么要办一个business idea advisory company,帮助各个不同的公司制定他们的产品计划，比如说怎么把产品的品牌做出来等。我狂晕，你自己都不知道怎么把一个产品的品牌做出来，还要做advisory company???有没有头脑啊！还说把总部设在荷兰，然后把那些做事的professionals outsource到新加坡，我再晕，这种东西怎么outsource啊？？你新加坡的professionals 怎么会明白怎样在荷兰做出品牌？连地方情况都不了解呀。感觉这帮人对outsource的基本概念都没弄清楚！呼呼呼！
本来觉得他们都很厉害的，自己很烂，虽然感觉很受打击，却要决心学习他们。可是，原来我们组中那个很强的人，现在因为做的好像不是他想要做的，兴趣马上就变得很低了，现在都像什么的事不关己样，还发了一堆牢骚。靠！受不了。
礼拜六没去，到现在也没人跟我说说他们开会到底说了什么。也没跟我说我出的那个主意为什么不好，就突然冒出这样一个超笨的主意，吐血了！
不爽不爽超不爽！

blur blur

2005-10-16T19:38:00.000+08:00

今天好晕啊，从jurong east坐车回来，到clementi居然发呆发过去了，一路坐到dover! -.-!!!

茧

2005-10-14T10:14:00.000+08:00

苦闷。

what do i want?

2005-10-11T23:35:00.000+08:00

昨天去了IEP的第一次meeting, 呼。。。I was kind of embarrassing myself there...

Iswen Bizard yr4
Sheena Political science yr4
Yu jun Engineering yr2

Iswen and Sheena both had NOC experiences. Iswen went to Silicon Valley and Sheena went to Biovalley. Although still a yr2 student, yu jun had plenty entrepreneurship experiences. Right now, he is one of the organizers of Start up @ Singapore (Stanley Han set up his company during start up @ Singapore) while me, nothing. -.-!

During the meeting, each of them threw out his or her ideas regarding this IEP. Obviously, they did not prepare for the meeting from the way they talk, but they had lots of ideas just came out from their mouths because they think about them everyday. They are real potential entrepreneurs, I have to admit. Iswen is more keen to social entrepreneurship, yu jun is more concerned about human health while Sheena always approaches problems from macro perspective.

"So what do you think?yu lu."
(Damn it! what am I gonna to say if I have nener thought about these stuff!)
"... ... Well...I know nothing about technology... " -.-!!

Meeting continued as I watched them keep talking about business ideas and I had been on a bed of thorns.

On my way back, I kept thinking how stupid I behaved just now, telling myself next time when I come for a meeting, I shall fully prepared for it.I must be full of fantastic business ideas which will shock them at instance!

But wait a minute, is that what I really want?

I applied for IEP because I want my resume looks better when I graduate;I work hard on my finance modules because I want my results slip looks better when I graduate;I am planning to join various CCAs because I want stand out from others when I graduate... All I did or going to do is used to pave my ideal career path towards finance sector which unfortunately, I have lost interest recently.

So what is the use for doing all these?

All sorts of projects make me bewildered in my life.

- How far does the forest go?
- As far as your mind goes.

But without a clear mind, how am I able to see the forest?

呼~~

2005-10-03T23:23:00.000+08:00

上个礼拜各种各样的考试总算是过去了！！虽然有一科考得一塌糊涂，其他的应该都还好，没有太大的问题。今天拿到international financial management的mid-term，嘿嘿，拿了101/108，开心开心~~ ^.^ 希望econs and GEM 也能考好。。
参加了一个international entreprenuership project. 申请的时候那个一腔热血！现在想想，够呛！一年啊。。。不知道要花费多少时间和精力了。。
今天去听了Barclay Capital的talk, 整个LT16里面座无虚席。其中大部分人是undergraduates, 还有MBAs和PhDs。负责招聘的是一个很年轻的英国女孩子，Kate Eggers, 很漂亮哦，说英文听起来也好舒服。唉。。Barclay, 真是一个令人向往的地方。不过，那么famous的Barclay，看LT里这些人的架势，估计还没进去，就会被这帮人在招聘会门口被踩死。@.@
明天后天还有talk，偶还要去听！！！
因为有buffet ... ^0^

小猫咪

2005-09-25T00:27:00.000+08:00

很可爱的小猫咪，可是看着却想哭。
自己总是一个很后知后觉的人。爷爷去世的时候，妈妈哭得都要晕过去了，我却半天掉不下一滴眼泪，甚至没有太多难过的感觉。让我自己都想骂自己狼心狗肺，忘恩负义，然后拼命的挤眼泪，让在场的人不会认为爷爷至爱的外孙女太无情。爷爷去了。一个月。两个月。三个月。偶尔在深夜想起爷爷的音容笑貌，想到再也不能见到爷爷，便会哭得说不出话来。妈妈有次在我睡着的时候对爸爸说，隔代的就是这样，没有太多感情。可是妈妈不是那样的啊，我哭了好多好多次。。。
想起自己从小就很爱哭，妈妈总是说我的眼泪不值钱。小时候几乎没有挨过打，因为每次爸爸妈妈只要说话声音提高半度，我眼泪就开始滴滴答答了。慢慢的，长大了，哭的次数还是没减少，只是学会了不在人前哭。
学习时间耽误了，重要的东西弄丢了，还要那么拼命的熬夜赚钱，给我买个小猫咪。。。真是的，该打！T.T

break week slips away...

2005-09-22T18:42:00.000+08:00

呼。。。好不容易去完了各个project discussion，现在已经是break的最后一天了。@.@
做了什么？仔细想想，好像什么大事都没做，可是时间就这么过去了，在各种各样琐碎的小事的拼拼凑凑下，差不多一整个礼拜就消逝了。
下雨了，郁闷得很。
真是让人头大，4个考试，1个project，1个presentation啊。。。疯掉了。
下午跟Romilly聊到我怎么总是没自由呢，他说:"Perhaps you are imprisoned by your own perfectionism."
Hmmm...good point.

It's break time~

2005-09-16T19:24:00.000+08:00

Break is coming... eventually...555
I need to study... I have to study... I got to study...zzZZ...-.-!

还是说吧

2005-09-08T23:03:00.000+08:00

开始佩服自己神经质的程度，上一分钟还敲打着“霉在肚子里吧。”，现在却又开始想写。给自己找了个理由，今天的事情还是今天做吧。
呼。。。真的好久好久没有写了。我不会说感觉好像又见到了老朋友，因为没有那种感觉，也就没有必要说。想想，我也从来没有对什么事情或者事物有持之以恒的热情，总是看到这个，就会忘记那个，呵呵，我仍然是这样的不专一。看起来，其实上，也许跟本就是两码事。
这个学期开始就觉得不对劲。过来好久都找不到感觉，以至于到现在功课拉下了好多好多。着急，担心，甚至是恐惧。我害怕上investment analysis。一个人都不认识。哦，不是，有认识的。只是，无话可说的人比不认识还要糟糕。
从中午12点做到晚上12点的individual case study，错了，15% gone；在图书馆认认真真做的tutorial，就错了一题，就被印度小黑神奇般的选中去白板present；econs tutorial都上完了，仍然有一题不明白；nano tutorial在离截至时间还有三个小时的时候，拿着老婆的作业狂抄。。。
我的生活怎么这么乱呢？是因为我乱七八糟地吃饭？是因为我乱七八糟的睡觉？还是因为这个世界在乱七八糟地转？
飓风了，暴雨了，地震了，坠机了，我们都，完蛋了。

呼啦就不见了

2005-09-08T22:57:00.000+08:00

最近觉得好乱，有很多话想说的，毕竟。。也太久没写了，说出来也许会好过一点。
可是偏偏跑下去买袋薯片，上来就什么也不想说了。
霉在肚子里吧。

昏哦

2005-08-13T00:50:00.000+08:00

受不了，干吗每次要买的东西没买，给别人买的没买到，最后end up自己买了一大堆。。。-.-!

Back to school

2005-08-11T11:46:00.000+08:00

呼。。。回来咯，又要开始上学了！
看了一些朋友的blog, 好像都挺恍如隔世的感觉。这次在家的确是住了好久，整整三个月呢，大家刚回来的时候好像都还迷迷糊糊的没感觉。偶这次居然出乎意料的刚回来的时候没有想家，咕咚一声，倒头就睡，汗汗。
就这样吧，我肚子好饿啊，去吃午饭了！~~

眼睛粑粑

2005-04-29T13:14:00.000+08:00

呵呵，昨天到处乱逛，看到一些别人的日记写自己的小宝宝的趣事的，有一个很好玩，是妈妈以她的儿子的口气写的：
“我今天早上起来觉得眼睛粘粘的，就问妈妈怎么回事。妈妈说：哟，是眼屎。
哦，是眼屎，眼睛拉粑粑了。妈妈怎么笑了呢？笑到眼睛都“尿尿”了。。”

偶亲爱的handphone alarm

2005-04-26T21:25:00.000+08:00

呼。。。总算是告一段落，考完了3门，还有2门，最近的在礼拜六，还可以小小休息一下。。嘿嘿。
这两天都是早上九点的考试，死活把自己给拉起来了。向来都是超能睡的，昨天晚上和前天晚上居然有点失眠。。都怪mimizi。

“偶明天9点要考试！偶去睡啦！”（偶）
“嗯，别睡过了”（mimizi)
“知道啦，在Shears Hall,晕。。偶8点就起来！”
“晕，不在Shears都要8点起来呀”
“8点起来，8点15出门，8点40左右吃完早饭，再去考试。。时间够了吧？”
“还吃早饭。。晕。。8点钟一定要起来hor, 别赖床！”
“嗯嗯，一定，我上两个闹钟！clock...handphone...”
“你有clock么？”
“晕，有啦，but dunno whether it works or not...”

就这个alarm clock!!!害得我两晚上没睡好！偶不是没闹钟，只是没电池。。。于是乎，这学期以来都是靠着偶的handpone的alarm，一直都好好的，可是被mimizi一说，弄得偶都神经兮兮的了，晚上睡觉前check了n次。。。

Check : 是早上8点哦。。不是9点。。嗯嗯，是8点。。。
Double check :是8点哦。。不是830。。嗯嗯，是8点。。。
Triple check :是8点am哦。。不是8点pm。。嗯嗯，是8点am。。。
Final check :偶没放silent mode哦。。嗯嗯。。不是silent mode。。。（虽然偶知道silent mode不影响）

睡吧。。。怕怕。。偶要是睡过了怎么办？55。。。都 check n次了，睡过了也没办法了，睡了啦！哦哦。。最后决定睡的时候，肯定是3am了。

想念晶晶，以前叫偶起床。*.*

blur blur

2005-04-21T23:50:00.000+08:00

明天下午就要econs考试了，刚刚才知道econs lecturer有uploaded一些练习题让我们去做。。。-.-! 不知道这几天干什么去了。。。开始看呗，还能怎样？
受不了我了，每天好像很认真的学习，其实有一半的时间在发呆，还有一半的时间因为效率低下只能复习一半的一半。有时晚上借书回来也没看，这里晃晃那里晃晃呼噜呼噜就睡了。还美其名曰早睡早起身体好。是早睡了，却晚起了。干啥呢你？！
无可救药！

静

2005-04-20T00:57:00.000+08:00

刚才看了一篇文章，一点点悲哀，一点点温暖，一点点震撼，一点点平静。。
人生终究不会是完美的，而就是在这不完美中，才能体会和珍惜所拥有的完美。如此，便是人生的价值。残忍却不失仁慈。
高大而健壮的男子，却有着温柔而又细腻的感情；单薄而瘦弱的女子，却有着坚定而又顽强的信念。清澈见底的灵魂，令人钟爱一生。

恐惧

2005-04-14T23:32:00.000+08:00

又是跳楼，心里一阵恐惧。
一个朋友今天晚上看了《可可西里》，感触颇深，在他的blog里面写着：

有时候人真的很无奈，很脆弱。

他们拿生命去守护的东西

但却不能保护自己的性命

一个人的力量实在太薄弱了

当一个人面对残酷的生活的时候

如果身边有个人的话可能还会好点

这样他们可以互相安慰互相扶持

很奇怪我们相差千里，却会感受类似的事情，生命的诀别。

在大自然的力量下，生命是如此的渺小；在人的社会里，生命同样是如此的不堪一击。我们还有生存的空间吗？

Piggy Me!

2005-04-10T20:19:00.000+08:00

今天又吃了Mcdonald。。真叉叉-.-!

Tuition

2005-04-09T21:19:00.000+08:00

今天早上起来的时候就已经快12点了，看了看别人的blog, 便下去吃午饭。依然是vegetarian, 只是没有花菜，做菜的auntie说这几天她不舒服。。:( 希望大家都健健康康的。
下午照旧去做tuition. Gladys用的是红色的比较大瓶子的liquid paper, 那种修正液我记得我在国内初中的时候也用过。过来后就换成蓝色的了，因为蓝色的是钢头的，比较细，而红色的那种是塑料头的，经常有一块一块的修正液凝固在笔头上，每次用的时候都要用手把凝固的修正液抠掉才能用。今天看见她在用，觉得有点惊奇。那么小的笔袋，装一个这么大的修正液，看上去还真有点残忍，拉上拉链的时候，笔袋看起来都有点扭曲了。
“因为这是最便宜的liquid paper呀！那种很贵的。。”她看着我说。眼睛里没有一丝窘迫，这就是她的生活。
不过相差几毛钱的修正液。想起以前在南洋女中的时候，我之所以换去那种蓝色的修正液，是因为周围的同学都在用，那时候我还以为，新加坡的学生都用蓝色的，而红色的那种早就落伍。
Gladys不是很聪明，但是很勤奋，每天都在不停的学习学习。。上次跟她做tuition, 讲解绝对值，告诉她打开绝对值符号的时候要添加正负号，她不明白，半个小时过去，她还是不明白。我很疲倦，也很生气，虽然没有任何理由发在她身上。三个小时的tuition下来，她也是一脸倦容，可是她还在那里想着绝对值。
每次去Gladys家的时候，只有她闲呆家里的整天吵架的姐姐，爸爸妈妈每天都在外面辛苦的赚钱养家，有时候不礼貌，不聪明，学习不好，现在处在叛逆时期，跟妈妈都2，3个礼拜没有说话了。上次她妈妈打电话来问我她的情况的时候，那种生气的语气，让我无可奈何。
下午6点，走出她家，到地铁站的时候，她妈妈发短信跟我说，她已经把tuition fee 汇到我的银行账户上了。一阵心酸，随后关上手机。
残忍的求生。

昨天，立志美丽

2005-04-09T21:12:00.000+08:00

蓝色睫毛膏，蓝色睫毛卷，银色项链，黑色Fish & Co.

奇怪了

2005-04-07T21:52:00.000+08:00

这两天真是见鬼了，一个认识的人都看不到，都不知道跑哪里去了。一个人带着肿肿的还没睡醒的眼睛跑去上tutorial, 题也没做，就瞪着我那金鱼眼，看着老师，一副渴求知识的样子。老师问：“Class, any questions?”每听到这句话，我就急忙低下头，微皱眉头，手摸下巴，仿佛一个高难度问题呼之欲出的样子。。
“郁闷，这题目什么意思啊？”-.-!
上完了tutorial, 跑去上lecture, 看来看去，又没有认识的人。
上完了lecture,去canteen吃饭，诺大的canteen,还是没有认识的人。
吃完了午饭，去图书馆，人是不少，熟悉的面孔却没几个，看到了mimizi的mortal,坐在我对面，不过又不熟，等于没看见。
唉，一群skipper.
大家好，我来了。

Frustration

2005-04-06T22:27:00.000+08:00

Thought this would be a better-looking template, I worked hard on it. Changed colour for all my writings, tried dark green, republished,tried light green,republished,uploaded a picture, edited, republished, used this new template, must republish the whole blog... @.@...Fine fine... I republished the whole blog... Tick tick... 5% republished...10% republished...15% republished... After about ten minutes, my brand new blog finally appeared in front of me. It looks nice and fresh, isn't it?

But!!Wait a minute!!

Why the hell my "about me"column is squeezed to the bottom left corner??? -.-!

2005-04-06T11:21:00.000+08:00

sleep sleep sleep..

混乱

2005-04-05T21:00:00.000+08:00

这两天不知道怎么回事，很ill-tempered, 冲谁都发火，虽然有的并没有表现出来。明明都只是一点点小事，心里却觉得很生气，生气得居然一整天不理不睬，脸难看得都可以拧出水来了。自己都觉得自己过分，可就是调整不过来，好像吃了火药似的，想吐出来都不行。不知道这火药还要消化多久。难道跟天气有关？朋友说天气不好的时候他也经常发脾气。昨天腰有点酸，今天上课的时候也是。昨天晚上5点钟就吃了晚饭，今天4点钟就吃了。回到宿舍睡一觉起来又继续吃，方便面，香肠，鸡蛋，冰激凌。乱七八糟的，悲哀透顶。
刚才准备去洗澡的时候，开门闻到一阵香味，是我的沐浴露的绿茶香味！哈，没想到，进进出出间，香味会留在门上。真可爱。^o^

去？不去？去？不去？

2005-04-04T00:00:00.000+08:00

明天9点的finance tutorial...有quiz...5道选择题...will cover 3 chapters which i have not revised until now...已经想睡觉了...还没洗澡...明天，哦不，是今天了，要讲的tutorial questions我基本都会做，不去也没什么对吧？而且，整个学期3个quiz,只选其中2个算成绩，不去也没什么对吧？刚才被北京猿人弄得心情一团糟，更不想去了。
好，我决定了，马上洗澡睡觉，早上早起去图书馆读书！

Tales from Earthsea

2005-04-02T22:46:00.000+08:00

最近在读书。难得assignments, projects什么的，差不多都做完了，不用去管，而离期末考试还有几个礼拜，算是有了个空闲给我读读书。久违了的感觉，安安静静，平平淡淡，只是听着别人讲故事，心情随之起伏。在wizards的世界里，缥缈却又真实，善恶分明，只有自私和无私的对比，似乎没有什么深仇大恨，爱却很简单，而且有千万种。
两个礼拜都没有读完那本书，于是今天又去续借，沉浸在那个世界里比较好。

--"How long does the forest go?"
--"As long as your mind goes."

Ursula K. Le Guin

哇呀呀

2005-04-02T12:27:00.000+08:00

前几天把QQ给卸载了，顿时觉得轻松了许多，也无聊了许多，一种无聊总是被另一种无聊所代替，唉。。
闲来无事，便这里逛逛，那里逛逛，昨天晚上硬是把雅虎星座测试做了个遍，好多结论现在都不记得了，唯一记得是的“恭喜恭喜，你面带桃花。。”suzuki咕咚一声，晕倒在地。。
啊，顺便说一声，昨天晚上Eusoff Hall那个折腾啊。。-.-! 让我顿时醒悟：The moral of the story is never choose Friday night shift! 你给我钱我也不做了，呼呼！不过，学生会负责Munchi Monkey的一些seniors还算是有良心，知道昨天晚上忙，来了3，4个帮忙的，人都很温和，还有一个比较帅的，嘻嘻，心理也算是平衡了点。^.^
换了个版面，看起来很清新，我喜欢。

Insomnia

2005-02-24T04:21:00.000+08:00

It is 4:27am in the morning, and my tears keep gushing out... A sleepless night.

It has been a long time I haven't cried like this. Everything seems so faked, yet the feeling is so real, so real that I could see tears running down my face, I could feel my nose is blocked until I couldn't breathe...

Flyaway mirages always appear in desert, but they do not appear themselves, they appear because those desperately thirsty people want to see them. When all the things vanish away, will they cry out? Do they have regrets deep inside their hearts? After all, they chose to see the mirages even themselves know that they are just virtual images. Or, choose to see them again when they need?

Nothing can be bad than a Sorry when you actually need a helping hand.

I brew, I drink

2004-11-11T04:37:00.000+08:00

"Life can be fair and just, and justice will be served if logic, fairness and a sound sense of judgment prevails. ...

The Justice card, needless to say, often represents legal issues or events; most traditional Tarot cards feature the sword and scales. When this card appears in a reading concerning legal affairs such as divorce proceedings, alimony payments or any legal battle, it is normally a positive sign that any ruling will be in your favor.

The card can also represent contracts and agreements so, again, it can be a good omen for business deals and proposals.

It is a card that suggests you seek or give sound advice based on cool logic and reason. In other words, it is best not to allow unruly emotions to influence you in any situation where legal issues are a concern.

In a situation where the Justice card is surrounded by negative cards, it can mean that an injustice could be experienced or that a legal ruling may go against you. Tread carefully when such cards come up and certainly seek wise counsel. It would be best not to make any hasty or impulsive decisions when such a reading comes up.

In relation to business deals or proposals, negative cards around the Justice card could mean you may be unsuccessful in securing a deal or contract. Here too, it would be wise to seek further advice and exercise caution.

However, there is a greater or deeper meaning to the Justice card beyond its legal ramifications. It is deemed a very karmic card, a card of adjustment and fairness at a more spiritual level.

When it appears in your reading, it can mean that if you have been the victim of ill will or misfortune, the wrong will be put right and fate will turn in your favor. Issues of honesty, integrity and idealism are paramount when this card appears. "

Well... Sometims it is scary that Tarot can be so prophetic and accurate. I just got my essay returned yesterday, because I copied some from internet. Despite tutor's scolding, I have to rewrite the whole thing all over again, by next Monday. I couldn't remember how I got out of my tutor's office, what i could remember was just full of shame and a lot of unbearable tears. Luckily, my friends were accompanying me. We talked about tennis, movies, night pub and etc. Laughters helped to push my tears back and evenually, let out a smiling face. Thank you Z and D.

Also, thanks to Tarot, just hope that next time, you can come earlier.

Grey

2004-10-10T17:05:00.000+08:00

Why people use blue to describe one's down mood? Blue is such a nice color... give me a cool and serenity feeling. I can't see any connection between this beautiful color and a sophisticated psychological problem...

(shrug) People are just mad.

I am feeling grey.

I don't know, just feeling down. (Don't look me like that..) Well, ok, I have to admit that most of the time, when I say I don't know, that's not what I mean. I just don't want to talk about anything. It's logic, isn't it?When people feel like messing up in their minds or huge rocks lying on their hearts, they simply don't want to open their mouth. "I don't know."is the most convenient and excusable way to escape. To escape from the things they are digging with, to escape from the people they are socialising with, to escape the world they are frustrating with, to escape ... whatever.

I am wondering how is the outer space look like? Bananas shopping with tomatoes?Or hamsters dancing with turtles? I must be like an alien to them... Ah ha, a good chance to become a celebrity! Perhaps!! The prince of outer space will even propose to me!

Emmm...I am sure will consider about it.

I mean, provided he is not a chimpanzee.

Cambridge

2004-09-13T18:07:00.000+08:00

Cambridge, a world-famous university,my friend was leaving for that...The grandeur magnificent ancient buildings, the peaceful and beautiful river, the cold UK winter and the very original British accent...Yah, that is Cambridge University of Britain.

I was singing on a swing with my friends at Kent Ridge Hall in NUS when I received her phone call. She told me that she was in the Changi airport right then and she said we should keep in touch forever. In return, I said take care, kisses, don't forget to sent me photos,you will be my tour guide when I go to UK and keep in touch.

Keep in touch. The same sentence. I always feel that when somebody say keep in touch to me, I should say it also to him or her, so that there will be some kind of connection between us. Otherwise the line between us will be disconnected..

However, the moment I hung up my phone, I felt lost..Not only about her, but also about myself. There is no line in my hand. We have been friends for four years, during which, we shared our laughter and tear, our happiness and sorrow. She is that kind of blur blur girl, always forgets this or forgets that. But she is also such a lovely girl that there is always smile on her face. Just because of a little joke, she can laugh to the end of the world!

I smiled when all these memories rushed into my head. But she left. She is not one of my best friends, but her leaving still made me feel down.

Even my best friend can't keep in touch with me as she promised, what else can I demand from this friend? She just left.

secret_garden

2004-09-10T12:59:00.000+08:00

secret_garden

My secret garden

2004-09-09T18:44:00.000+08:00

Breeze~~
Flower, grass and the little white rabbit ...
Smile ...
I know they belong to me and my secret garden ...